The first five critical questions you need to ask a marriage celebrant
Here are five key questions you might ask when searching and selecting for your celebrant. Think of them as keys to open the doors of all the possibilities for your Big Day.
They will all help you make the decision around if this is the best/most suitable celebrant to entrust with our wedding.
When asking the celebrant your questions listen carefully to their answers. It's not only in terms of their words but also around their generosity of spirit and ability to deliver what you want.
Remember, if all goes well, they will be asking you one of the most important questions of your life; "Do you….take this…to be your lawful wedded..?"
Hopefully, there's only one answer to that question, but there are many choices when it comes to both the celebrant and the ceremony. So get ready!
Searching for the one
You have already both found each other well done. Before searching for a celebrant, ask yourself what kind of ceremony you want and what sort of celebrant will best suit you. It might be formal or fun, showy or serious. It can, within the few boundaries of the law, be almost anything. Agree on what you want and write it down briefly. How you communicate your plan to any celebrant will make a big difference.
I have presumed you have made initial phone calls and checked on the celebrant's availability. You've looked at their website, social media and searched their name. If possible, you want to meet or video conference the front runners, who hopefully will number no more than three. Should all be OK, here's a shortlist of questions.
You might both ask the questions and take notes. They could be high-level and relatively open, which means you can't get a yes/no answer. You're after a feeling of who the celebrant is and what they can do, perhaps to confirm what's on their website or even go way beyond.
Remember, it's their job to check you out as well and work out what they can deliver subject to time, budget and your preferences.
1) How can your experience help us make the most of the day?
You want them to tell you what and how they have conducted ceremonies in the past. If they are new to the calling, that's OK. They might be perfect so just focus on their openness and integrity. Some very experienced celebrants may seem tired and have done it all before. A touch of freshness might be what you want
2)Tell us about a memorable ceremony? What's your speciality if you have one?
You want to hear how they tell their story and how sharp and concise it can be. It doesn't matter if the celebrant has no speciality; you wish to assess their storytelling confidence and capacity. In some way, large or small, they'll be telling the tale of your love in front of all your family and friends. You want them to be able to do it justice.
3) From what little you've heard from us so far, what would you recommend for our ceremony?
This off-hand query will test the imagination and creativity they might bring to your nuptials. It will help you assess their empathy towards you and how a great celebrant can add value to the event. They don't necessarily have to have big ideas, but it would be nice if they had some idea.
4) What would be the process, and what are the milestones?
One key element of a celebrant's job is administration and paperwork. It might sound boring, but getting a crucial part of it wrong can have serious repercussions. You want them to spell out what steps will be taken and when such as the script's development. Dates and deadlines are essential as you don't want to be bothered with details days before the wedding. Trust me, you'll have enough on your plate. You need a strong sense they are reliable in these matters
5) Can you give us an idea of the costs involved?
If you want an answer to this last question, there's a good chance they have done OK so far. You need to get an idea of their price and also the terms such as how much is payable in advance and when. They should have an idea of what you want and perhaps your capacity to pay by this time. It might not be a final fixed quote, but it should give you a range in which to play. Needless to say, the cheapest is not usually the best. The cost of the celebrant can only be a small part of the wedding budget but a much larger part of the whole experience. If you must skimp, do so on the flowers and fireworks but not on the celebrant.
Finally, let your celebrants know soonest if they have the gig or not and perhaps let them know a factor or two as to why you made your decision.
You need to make a call fully one month before your wedding day. You must by law complete the Notice of Intention to Marry with your celebrant by that deadline.
